IT'S A NEW DAWN; IT'S A NEW DAY

Yesterday, I tendered my resignation letter.. This is my first time by the way.. And the feeling is......unexplainable.. Somewhat peaceful, felt as though the weight on my shoulders has already been swept off.. And i can't stop laughing and smiling..

I am hoping that with me resigning from this current position, I will be more relaxed and, less like Jessica-at-work... Gonna do some changes in my life.. But couldn't think of anything yet.. To some people, New Years' are usually the time they do changes and "redecorate" their life.. I will not be those.. I want to be special.. I want to make changes and "redecorate" them whenever i choose..

But at the moment.. Haven't got any clue yet.. :)

LAU YANG YANG

I came home from work today feeling happy because it's hubby's birthday tomorrow and also because i will be on a week's leave soon... And as usual, when i am in a very good mood... She started to go crazy...

It all started when i was playing and talking with my cat (who was sitting next to me) and i was asking whether does she wants to eat fish... My mother should know very well that i was just teasing my cat... She is usually fine about me teasing my cat like this.. And sometimes she would also join in the fun.... But tonight is different... She just asked me 1 single question... Which i had ignored her because during then she sounded casual.. Like how she and i use to speak at home...

Then when she got off the couch and was heading to the kitchen, the cat jumped down from the couch and ran towards her leg and kept rubbing her while she was walking, rubbing her feet constantly with her body and nose, etc... She started to sound annoyed and kept yelling at her... Then when they were both in the kitchen, she used something heavy to scare her off by throwing it on the floor a couple of times... I was not really pissed off at that time because i knew that she won't hurt this cat.... She is her favourite...

So the cat ran towards me and slept on my leg... She was clearly very scared... But i calmed her down.... But as playful as every cat is, she walked back towards her after seeing my mother came out of the kitchen... And that is when i was in total shocked and could not believe what she had done... She back kicked the cat and it hit it's nose... The cat ran into my room and slept on my bed... I couldn't control myself and i yelled at her... In front of her husband... Even her husband could not believe what she had done... She kept blabbering saying that her leg is having those rash spots again...

FYI, she always has a panic attack whenever there are rashes on her leg or she accidentally kicked on one of the table's or chair's edges... She will keep saying the word "DIE"...

Anyways,when i was in my room with my cat, i couldn't stop crying because i felt sorry for her.... I felt her heartbreak... She looked so disappointed and sad... There was nothing much i could do other than petting her and kept telling her that i was very sorry... I even kept asking whether is she ok... Asking her to at least make a few noises to let me know that there is nothing wrong with her...

Hy.. I'm so sorry Yang Yang...

EMPTY PROMISES

Last Friday i called her to ask whether does she wants to have lunch with Esther, KC and i.. But i did not tell her where.. She just says that she's busy so she is going to have a quick one in our cafeteria.. But when we went to Serena, she's there... With her Accounts friends.. So i went up to her and sarcastically said that i did not know that Serena has already changed and became our cafeteria.. She then tried to explain and of course, why should i listen.. And i went off.. She is pissed off about it... Until today..

I always thought that she will never change after she has been transferred to Accounts Department.. But everyone asks me not to be so sure.. Well, it's true... She has changed a lot..

When she was in Accounts Department the first week, she came and promised not just me, but Esther, KC and Poon that she will assign a lunch date with us at least once a week... But that did not happen...

She promised to take Esther and i to the Korean home cook restaurant but until today, no freaking news..

She always mingle around with the Accounts team and when she saw us passing by, we are all translucent...

Curse very frequently..

Always talks dirty jokes..

The main priority always goes to Accounts Department first.. Everything has to be quick, new, super clean, spotless, flawless, etc...

I just cannot take it anymore with her empty promises and change of character...

RUNAWAY SUE

Have been feeling uncomfortable the whole day all thanks to my soar throat and cough...

I don't get sick easily... But when i am really sick, i really can't concentrate on what i am or should be doing... For instance like today... Since this morning i have no mood to work already... I just want to lay on my bed and rest... But i couldn't because Ahmad needs to go on MC and my sis @ work, Esther is on vacation with her hubby...

Usually when i am in the office, i listen to all my song collections that are being saved in Grooveshark (thank you for recommending hubby)... And today, i suddenly felt like listening to Runaway Sue... I got a little emotional while listening to it... Throughout the whole song, i have been thinking about the fun and happy times that i have had with Mr Lau when he and his friends were doing their rehearsals for their mini concert in 1992... I remembered that he brought me to their rehearsals every weekend.... I even made a few friends and learned a little bit of ballet (just messing around, really)... Remembered that i shared a packet of char siew / siew yuk rice with him... I was so naughty back then... I asked him to feed me while i was running here and there-playing the piano, drums, percussion, etc... Just anything that i could get my hands on.... I had also remembered he looked so proud when he was introducing me as his daughter during my first time meeting up his friends...

Thinking about more of those moments really made me feel sour inside... Then slowly, silly things started to come to my mind... Questions to be exact... Example, "How will i feel if he got really sick and being hospitalized?? What should i do?? What if he dies?? Will i ever forgive him???"

There are a lot of times where i really wish that i could speak to him like how we used to.... But it's just too difficult for me...

RECENTLY

RECENTLY, everything at home seems peaceful (at the moment)... I don't mean to sound negative... But when you think about when a person has taken away your freedom to hang out with your friends (in an unwilling manner), how would you feel... Sometimes i would think whether is hubby feeling the same way because he has not been hanging out with his friends for quite some time now (even futsal)... Actually it's not because i don't let him hang out with his friends... It's just that i'm very scared that something bad might happen to him while he is driving to the destination or home... And of course (i won't deny), i feel insecure when he is not around me... At any time, the word "INSECURITY" will pop out of my mind out of nowhere... It's not just because he has lied to me before when we were on practical training, but it's also because i am very scared of karma... I have cheated on my previous boyfriends and i just hate the phrase "what goes around comes around"...

But on the brighter side, hubby and i have been very happy and been very playful no matter where we go... We kept making each other laugh and tickling each other with our words and actions... Lovin' it... :) *2 thumbs up*

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DEAD

This morning I noticed that there is nothing in my tank already (other than the dead bodies).. But anyhow, i am not giving up... I'll leave it up to dry and then refill the tank... And we'll see whether does it really reborn...

FYI, it has been more than 30 days already... So it did not disappoint me... :)

GAMBATEH!!!!

DAVID FOSTER AND FRIENDS

Last night on our way to have dinner at our favourite Korean restaurant (Jung Won), hubby's backside itchy and called Lite and Easy to play the guessing game (Who Am 'I')... And he just tucked his phone to me and ask me to answer on his behalf... I was like "WTH!!!"... I kept pushing his phone back to him but he was giving me the best excuse ever - i am driving!!! And while we were pushing the phone back at each other, Rex (the DJ) picked up.... So i have no choice but to give him my details and answered the question... I was very pissed off during then... But after knowing what I have won, i can't help but to feel SUPER HAPPY!!!! I have always wanted it... Honestly I wanted to buy the DVD... But it's expensive... So I think double CD is just as good... Hehehehehe... :)

Thank you baby... Mmmuakkksss... Mmmuakkksss...

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 28

As of this morning, there are only 4 left... T-T

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 13

Am back to work again!!! Serious Monday blues!!! Because today i have to rush for so many things... Inventory, closing, etc.... Plus i am quite sleepy today.. Can't really sleep much last night... What a waste... Coz it was a cool cool night... :)

But anyhow, Ocean Monkeys are in their 13th day now.... And the numbers had decreased.... To more than half... I could even see those dead ones at the bottom of the tank - black in colour... Those that are still alive are now swimming in normal pace but some are just swimming very slowly...

Hmmm... So worried that it'll not work out... T-T

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 9

Today some of them stop swimming already... Just floating around... T-T

Yesterday Esther and i noticed that some of them was swimming slowly... Then we were wondering what caused them to be like that... Is it because the tank that i have now is too small?? Is it because of the water?? Or is it because i did not give them enough food???

We really don't know... We'll see how things goes... :(

A DIRTY COLLEAGUE

I have been having a dirty colleague sitting next to me... Although it's no biggie to some people but i really cannot take it... This morning, like any other mornings if i came to work early, i always sees him rinsing his spoon using the distilled water dispenser.. And there will be water dripping everywhere on the floor... This morning he kept saying that he'll mop it later and ask me not to be mad at him...

And the thing that i hate most about him is that he always eats on other people's desk )usually nasi lemak)... And he makes the table very messy... When the owner of that table notices the sambal stains and the newspaper marks on the table and asks who's "work of art" it is, he WILL admit it, but he will never stop that habit... I really don't understand how a person could be that irresponsible and just doesn't care what other people thinks about him...

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 6

Am back to work today and they look the same (unfortunately)... But it's ok... I have time... Hehehehe.. Just as long as they don't die on me... :)

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 4 & 5

Cannot see the progress these days because i am not working (Saturday & Sunday)... :(

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 3

THEY'RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!! Our wait is over... Hahahaha... There are a lot of them... I think there are roughly 30 over of them swimming and floating around.... KAWAII NEH!!!!!!!!!

I really like them so much!!!!!!!!

IN OFFICE TODAY

I quite like the time spent in office and having a very nice lunch full of laughter with Esther (my sis at work)... I really like making her laugh like today.... At least i won't feel that i keep stressing her with my attitude in office... Because i know that sometimes i go berserk and go quite off with my anger but i am harmless - most of the time... ;) And i am lucky enough because she is always here for me when i go crazy all the time........ *so touched!!* T-T

Thank you siao po... :)

*hugs*

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 2

I have just inserted the eggs into the water now... And Esther and I are waiting for the Ocean Monkeys to pop out from the eggs.. Hehehehe... Very anxious!!! Every now and then Esther and I would take a look at it.. Hehehehe... Silly little girls.. :)

OCEAN MONKEYS PROJECT - DAY 1!!!!

I HAVE A NEW PET TO PLAY WITH NOW!!!!! And it's now in the office with me... But i have to wait til tonight only i could insert the eggs into the tank... Hehehehe...

I have just come upon a couple of comments through other people's blogs that it dies within a week.. BUT who cares!!! Because it can be reborn again!!! *AWESOME!!!* Hahahahaha...

I have always wanted it since the first time I had laid eyes on them in Petsmore... And now i have it!!!! All thanks to Joey and Janice!!! Hehehehe..

ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!!!!! :)

A VOICE AND SONG THAT MAKES ME MELT ALL THE TIME.. WITHOUT FAIL!!!

FOOLISH HEART - STEVE PERRY

I need a love that grows,
I don't want it unless I know,
With each passing hour,
Someone somehow,
Will be there,
Ready to share...

I need a love that's strong,
I'm so tired of being alone,
But will my lonely heart,
Play the part,
Of the fool again,
Before I begin...

Foolish heart,
Hear me callin',
Stop before,
You start fallin',
Foolish heart,
Heed my warnin',
You've been wrong before,
Don't be wrong anymore...

Feelin' that feelin' again,
I'm playin' a game I can't win,
Love's knockin' on the door,
Of my heart once more,
Think I'll let her in,
Before I begin...

Foolish Heart,
Hear me callin',
Stop before,
You start fallin',
Foolish heart,
Heed my warnin',
You've been wrong before,
Don't be wrong anymore,
Foolish heart...

Foolish, foolish heart,
You've been wrong before...

Foolish heart,
Hear me callin',
Stop before,
You start fallin',
Foolish heart,
Heed my warnin',
You've been wrong before,
Don't be wrong anymore,
Foolish heart...

Oh foolish, foolish heart,
You've been wrong before...

Foolish, foolish heart,
Foolish heart...

LIFE IS SHORT... APPRECIATE IT!!!

Today at work, there were 2 colleagues that adviced me to steady down during work... Don't stress myself too much and don't get angry easily... It's difficult because it's in my blood.... But i'll try... Thank you both so much, Miss E and Mr I... :)

But what made them say that to me it's because something happened at work last night... A lady colleague of mine (from another department), went berserk around the lobby area... She was playing the koi pond's water and under the rain, singing and shouting at the people around her... Then when the security arrived, she was being dragged away and ended up being brought away by an ambulance a few minutes after that....

And this morning someone told me that it happened since she was waiting for the train in Ampang Park LRT Station... She was yelling and shouting at all the passerby and even the wall also kena!!! After her ordeal in the LRT Station, she walked all the way back to hotel and continue around the lobby area... It sure had frightened the customers but it was just a short shocking moment... Other than getting to know when it happened and where she had started her "attack", we had also heard about what triggered it...

It's because she have been working for almost 10 years in this hotel, and have been hoping for a promotion... A few years ago before i joined this company, she had 2 months cross exposure in sales department... She enjoyed the working environment there and so, she requested for a transfer... But unfortunately, her then boss, did not approve her release... And like any normal employee's mindset, if your boss wouldn't let you go, that means you are really important to them and also to the organization... So she stayed and persevered.... Stayed extra long hours without complain, always do everything as quick and as neatly as possible.... After so many years had passed, an opportunity finally came forth... An exec position was posted out, just recently.... She was very happy and expecting that she would be the one that will be allocated to be in that position.... But unfortunately, that position was given away to a much newer male staff...

I guess it had not just broke her mentally, but also her heart.... I really would not know how to handle it if i'm her... You have spent so many years in this company and you're not being appreciated... This really bites.... Hy.... I guess this is life.... Nothing is fair...

FYI, she is now being strapped down on the bed in one of the hospitals in KL because her condition is quite serious...

REPLYING INNER THOUGHTS

Hey deary.. Read your blog and i just would like to share a little thing or 2 about what i think...

First of all, the old HAPPILY EVER AFTER ending, yup.. It's overrated... And as a matter of fact, it cannot be applied and it's not relevant in the real world...

Secondly, you will find your true love someday... Mark my words hun, "YOU WILL!!!" :)

Thirdly, pushing the blame to someone is actually, believe it or not, it's imprinted in all of us... It's human nature... I'm not saying that you did wrong for concluding that it's his fault and also, at the same time, i did not say that he's wrong for concluding that it's your fault... But IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO (you should know this, right??)... Although if you tell me that you do not know how to tango, fine!! Learn!! Learn together... After every arguments / misunderstandings, always find an initiative to solve it on that day itself... Never drag the problem because it could only gets worst... TRUST ME... I have been there and i really hate that feeling... It suffocates me...

Fourthly, be comfortable with your partner... Know his habits, the way he speaks and understanding his body language... It could actually minimize the arguments and misunderstandings...

Last but not least, spend more time together.... Understand each other more... No time?? FIND TIME!!! No agenda?? SURPRISE EACH OTHER!!! For me, not everything has to be planned out when it comes to spending some quality time and just plain sweet talking to each other... Have dinner together more often... Go for trips and just stay in the hotel room plain cuddling and chit chatting...

Therefore, it really takes two to build a good and healthy relationship... We'll talk more when we meet ya.... Maybe we'll try smoking again at Times Square's Starbucks behind Jeff's back... Hehehehe... (^-^)

Can't wait to see you soon.... *hugs*

Love forever and for always,

♥Jessica♥